With family outings and new routines, the holidays can be the most stressful season of all, especially when it comes to families managing children. Ohio Northern University Department of Education faculty member Adrienne Goss, Ph.D., has tips to relieve some of that tension.

“Holiday activities can be challenging because they often get children out of their comfort zone,” says Goss, assistant professor of education. “While many of the activities and events are tailored toward adults, they are not necessarily children-friendly events.”

Preparation is important, Goss notes, and it begins with the car ride to the family get-together. “I have found it to be helpful to give the children something constructive to do, such as playing ‘I Spy’ or license-plate games. Get them to think about something that stimulates them to avoid the inevitable ‘Are we there yet?’ question.”

Once at the gathering, it is important to be remember youth have their own priorities and do not treat them like miniature adults. “Children are not going to operate on our timetable,” Goss said. “They may struggle to engage in the kinds of conversations that adults would like to have at holiday gatherings. As with adults, they want to socialize with people their age and on their level. They can last longer if there are other children around and space in which to play.”

Also, remember the operative dress code. “It is often better that children are dressed comfortably. Dress clothes can make children more antsy.”

Many of the insights for younger children also apply to middle- and high-school offspring. “They are still not adults, so they may not be interested in the conversations that parents are having. It is not necessary to ban social media entirely, but it is reasonable to ask them to put down their phones for an hour or so during meals to actually engage in conversation.”

In the long run, it is about focusing on outcomes. “Keep the big picture in perspective,” Goss advises. “It is about spending time together, and not getting caught up with schedules.”