By Amelia Alexander
I have learned so much from writing here in the Icon, so I wanted to reflect on this school year and everything that I have learned from this experience so far. 

1-  Giving myself grace and pushing through my own short-comings
I’ve had to learn how to produce two articles a month on top of school and sports. If I really needed to, I could take a break from this column, but I really want to stick with it, so I haven’t. 

The truth is, I feel like an imposter sometimes. I could write an article about the growth mindset and then watch myself fall into negative thought patterns only a few weeks after I had written the article.

I can feel like a liar and a fraud because of my failures and flaws. Writing these articles is not always easy. I struggle with motivation and I have poor time management.

I’ve stayed up extremely late, cried over the stress of school, and taken days off from school to sleep in and calm myself down. Preserving my well-being while also trying to succeed in school, sports, etc. is not always neat and pretty.

Managing mental health is not always pretty, which is why I try to give myself grace. I am being transparent and vulnerable because I want people to understand that I am far from perfect and that’s completely normal.

I’m slightly unhinged and I break down sometimes. Teenage years can be turbulent, and I think that struggling should be normalized, rather than feigning perfection.

Growing up in general has taught me that nobody is stable all of the time, and that’s okay. Support systems and coping mechanisms are important for persevering my wellness. I continue to learn how to manage stress. This year I’ve made commitments that have given me more of that experience. 

I try my best to take pride in what I have managed to accomplish rather than dwell over all my mistakes and failures. My best does not always measure up to the metric on which I base my success, but that’s okay.

My best will not always take me to where I want to be, but I must try anyway because my best is what I can offer. What I can offer is valuable even if it’s far from perfect.

Doing my best helps me develop more skills. If you meet all of your goals, are you truly setting proper goals for yourself? It is hard to adopt a healthy mindset about failure, but it’s worth putting effort into that mindset. I want to be excellent. I want to be so much better than I am today, but hating where I am now will only harm my self-esteem.

I struggle with an all or nothing mindset. If I cannot do something very well, I get the urge to give up, but I refuse to give up on this.Even though I wish I were a better writer, I am proud of the things I have written. I can’t wait to see all of the places that this column will go. 

2- Time management
I am writing to you very late in the evening, so it’s clear that I have yet to master this principle. I have learned, however, how to complete assignments before a deadline.

I did two sports at the same time during the fall, which meant that time management became crucial. I was very stressed out all the time, but I  learned how  to dig deep and find a way to complete everything that I had to do before a deadline. I still struggle with managing my time, but my experiences from this year are only helping me improve.  

3-  When I write, people listen
I have had people reach out to me to commend me for my writing. Inspiring other people fuels me. The fact that I can generate positivity makes me very proud of myself and grateful for this outlet.

Most of the time, I speak about issues that I care about. I am grateful to have a platform where I can voice these issues, and help people learn about them.

Growing up, I’ve always felt a little out of place in Ada, but I adore living here. Even though I don’t always fit in here, I feel heard and a part of this community. I understand that my perspective is unique. I’m glad that I can offer something different to the community.

 Overall... 
My experience from writing these articles has helped me become a better writer. I feel connected to my community because I am able to offer my perspective and spark discourse about the things that matter to me.

Even though I’m not quite at the level that I wish I was, I am  very proud of what I have accomplished this year because I know I worked hard and created thoughtful content. I am very excited to see how much I can grow in the coming year.